Are We There Yet?

I figure it had been a while since I shared "moment" so let's all go along with me on my recent trip home from work....

I leave work around 6:45 pm - not bad since my last class ends at 6:30... I go outside - of course it's dark - the ground is just a little wet from what I assume was a quick rain shower. I walk to the corner with a hundred other people and stand there breathing in a wave of exhaust fumes waiting for the light to change. Light changes - wait for 10 seconds for all the people running the red light to get through before we cross - cross street - try to locate my bike.

I always have a problem trying to remember where I park. Takes about 5 minutes - not bad - can you imagine if it was the same color as everyone elses? Find my bike, but now I have to walk another 30 feet or so to get to it - you see I'm on the sidewalk and all the bikes are parked so closely together that I have to walk around all of them - can't squeeze through... no fat jokes please, my kids couldn't have even gotten through. I reach my bike - keys are not in my pocket... not in the other pocket either... damn it - take off my back pack... search for another couple minutes find them. Put them in the ignition open my seat in order to take my helmet off it's little holder thingy - close seat. Look at bike - damn it - it's packed in tight.... so tight that I can't even get on it to try to get it out. Fine - I'll pull it out. Put helmet down on ground next to me.

Now I wouldn't consider myself a weak person by any means, but the bikes are fairly heavy and it's more about positioning as opposed to shear strength. None the less I push my bike forward off it's breaks and try to pull it back out of the mess. No go... in fact it is held in place by the bikes on either side of it. Now typically you just move the other bikes over a few inches and then wiggle your way out. But today, apparently everyone had to park in the exact same place as I did and if I wanted to scooch bikes, I would have to start from the outside and work my in - there's at least 20 or more bikes parked in this 15 foot space and I'm almost directly in the middle - damn it! -

Fine I'll just push it out... walk all the way back around to the front of the bike and begin pushing, yet it won't move - it's like it's trying to back over something - **light bulb moment** - I didn't take the wheel lock off - damn it!. Walk all the way back around and try to find my keys to unlock it. Not in my pocket - not in the other pocket - after another 5 minutes of searching my back pack **heavy sigh** **much self inflicted vulgarity** take keys out of the ignition - unlock the lock put keys back in ignition - make mental note to remember this action - walk all the way back around bikes for attempt #2.

Push bike out of spot after 5 good pushes and much more vulgarity - initial action not bad - only needs to go straight - not hard considering there is no other way it can go.... at first. I get it halfway out and realize that at some point I need to turn it or risk getting smashed in traffic. Second realization - bike is no longer being held up solely by other bikes - starts to lean... I finally get it out and facing the right way - bend down to pick up helmet and almost drop bike on top of me. At this point my beige pants are streaked with dirt and grease from pushing it out from the other bikes and I add to that by dropping to my knees to leverage the bike so it doesn't fall - ground was wet and of course dirty.

Whatever -- just want to get home... get on bike - cold wet feeling soaks through my pants - 2 seconds shy of that actually registering - I put on my helmet - same cold wet feeling soaks into my hair. Apparently the rain shower was a little more significant that I originally thought. At this point, with vulgarities running rampant, I decide I really don't care and just want to go home. Put earphone (just one) in buckle helmet try to start bike. Makes whining sound - figure it's cold - try again - no go - **another light bulb moment** there is a safety switch that I always turn on when I park it - makes it harder to steal - hadn't turned it off... open seat (while still on bike) and attempt to turn it off - realize that I can't reach it although I am trying desperately to turn my body 180 degrees around... damn it - get off bike - open seat - shut off switch - almost break seat slamming it shut - which of course just popped back open... get it shut - get back on bike - deja vous... same wet feeling reoccurs. Think about putting on my rain gear - rethink it - it's in the seat - not getting off the bike again not to mention I'm already wet. Screw it!

Drive home begins as usual.... swerve - brake - accelerate - brake/swerve - honk - etc... Get about two blocks into it and start to realize how cold it is. It's okay I can suck it up - not getting off the bike until I get home!!! A couple more blocks - hands are cold - ring moving around freely - slightly worried it might fall off. Try to encase ring by squeezing other fingers to it. Now I look like a penguin with my three fingers pressed together over the brake, my index finger sticking straight out and my thumb wrapped around the grip. Either that or a Vulcan doing a retarded imitation of the live long and prosper hand sign. Can't risk taking ring off - I have extremely bad luck losing my wedding ring - I might drop it and lose it forever - yeah definitely can't risk it. Keep hands in said position.

Try to take my mind off of wet ass and frozen Vulcan hand by paying a little more attention to the song blaring in my ear. You have to expose your ear to the high volume at stop lights if you want to be able to hear it at all while in the throngs of traffic. So as I sit at the light I feel the stare of the person next to me. This is quite common - there aren't a lot of foreign women who drive bikes here - somewhat use to it. Staring continues - now it's getting beyond polite... - still continues (some lights are a minute and a half long) - **annoyed** turn to stare back - this usually forces said person to look away - he keeps staring - **spotlight moment** realize that I am somewhat singing along to the song that only I can hear.... promptly shut my mouth and stare straight ahead.

I'm driving in rush hour so it takes longer to get home, not to mention that there are about a million other people out there. Driving here doesn't so much fall into the "lead, follow, or get out of the way" philosophy... it falls more under you fell into the river and now you just have to go with the flow... small things flow past larger things or bounce off of them... I fall under the category of small things. Bikes weave in and out of traffic, between cars, along the side of the road... they build up together at stop lights. I found myself in the middle of one of these clumps, now I mentioned before that there was a wave of exhaust - that's if you're standing off to the side... now if you're in the middle it's more like a hurricane... I have a mask to put on, but haven't quite convinced myself it helps not to mention that it's under my seat - not getting off!!!

The rest of the trip continues without incident until I get about 50 feet from my house and stop at the last light. Like I said it had rained earlier and this of course makes the road slippery - well not so much the road as the paint on the road - like the crosswalks. I stop my bike and put my foot down - my FOOT slips on the painted part of the road and I almost lay my bike down while standing still. I barely caught it - why I care at this point - I really don't know. Needless to say, I did make it the last 50 feet to the safety of my abode.

I am still trying to figure out how to video tape a short jaunt through traffic that I can share...

Will keep you posted!!

Hugs and Kisses and lots of Missing Yous!!!!